a small fish

he just realised its a different playing field here. and for the 1st time since he dreamed about all of this... he is scared.  scared of not living up to expectation. scared of the feeling that he doesn't belong. scared of fading away. scared of waking up every morning feeling mediocre because he couldn't understand data structure, or how the electron interact, have on top of his head some advance mathematical formula, or do programming like its a second language that everybody here should know. afraid of eventually realising that he is in a wrong dream...

***

prior to coming here one of his previous prof. reminded him

"the way to succeed is to work hard, harder than everyone else. and try to find that niche area of yours, know your strength, the area where you can really go all the way"

this two liner advice carry such a big weight

over here he noticed that everyone is working hard. and its almost impossible to work harder than everyone else. literally. and finding your niche and knowing your strength is not like something you can know by looking yourself in the mirror. its much deeper than that. anyway it wouldn't stop him to keep trying.

life is hard

life is hard recently, he is juggling between homework, trying to be the best programmer in the world, getting the best of his stay in US, trying to make friends, having fun, trying to improve his speaking, not eating too much, finding his niche, how to start a not so boring conversation, how to be a better people person, how to improve his tennis game, getting a job, making sure he doesn't fail a paper etc...

***

its getting really cold now days  but cold weather doesn't mean more sleeping time unfortunately

6 millisecond difference

he's amazed how the class actually spent 1 hour in proving on what is the best way to print in java. the result of the debate only differ by 6 millisecond but that's not important. the take away for him in the class was the statement by the professor.

"the number 1 rule in software optimisation: don't!"

all the things he saw on tv, about how classes are conducted over here i.e; the curiosity of the students, knowledge of the professors, the intellectual debates in class and stuff...(in case you're curious) its kind of true.

***

he saw a turkey on the side of the road today. ya-hunh, real turkey in a residential neighbourhood. he think its a bid odd but a lot of things are odd over here.  here is the list of odd things he experienced so far:

1. turkey on the side of the road
2. deer on the side of the highway
3. slugs
4. the rabbits that come out at night
5. ... (shall be continued later)

anyway ya-hunh means 'yes' in pittsburghese

fall of his life

today he noticed that the trees are starting to change colors. summer is leaving soon and fall is waiting around the corner. the first fall of his life might be the last, might just be the best

from the word of the taxi driver "fall is like when suddenly god decided to paint the earth with another color"

***

never ever in his life he taught that a lecture can be so interesting.

regardless of if its a law or programming lecture, he sees passion, knowledge and experience and
what's left more to ask he wonder